Musings of a bemused observer: 2012

Hello!
I know I've been naughty (very negligent), but this year, I promise to do better. To make amends, I'm giving you an extra long read. I went to see Uncle Ebo Whyte’s latest play, The Day Dad Came at the National Theatre when it premiered in December, so I thought I’d share my opinions on the experience. This review was originally supposed to be finished in December, but many obstacles, including the crashing of my lappie and flashdrive nearly made it impossible to finish. had I not blabbed about the review to a friend who happens to have been a member of the cast, I most likely wouldn't have been able to finish it. This is long, but quite worth the read, so relax and go on...

I got there at 4:20pm for the 4pm show and couldn’t get parking anywhere near the venue. I’d to go as far as the Ministry of Roads and transport building (yes, pretty close to the traffic lights that take you to the Intersection near the National Theatre) to find parking. I was amazed at the number of cars that had been along the road and even in the island, all the way to the traffic lights that take you towards the stadium and on both sides of the street! My amazement wasn’t so much about the turnout, as at how many people had been on time, especially as Ghanaians are never on time and the more important (socially or politically) they are, the more late they are to events. I was impressed to find that when Uncle Ebo says the show begins at 4pm, he means just that! I encourage him to continue to keep us on our toes and to appreciate the value of being punctual.

PLOT
Now, let me put this analysis in context by first narrating the plot: Kofi and Ama Osei are unhappily married, but carry on in public as though they’re happy together. It’s Ama’s birthday, but not only does Kofi not give her a gift or even wish her a happy birthday, he’s upset that he can’t find his phone. To help save Ama from the abuse she suffers at the hands of Kofi because of the missing phone, Ama’s sister calls the phone, which is answered by a lady called Candy. It turns out that Kofi’s having an affair with Candy, who’s supposedly six months pregnant with Kofi’s baby.

Later that evening, Mr Forson, Ama’s father, comes to the home of the Oseis to speak with Kofi, but has to wait till 1a.m. when Kofi returns home “from work”. Kofi, who does not know that his father in-law’s sitting in the living room, enters and physically abuses Ama for calling him earlier on his cell phone. When he realises that his father in-law is watching them, Kofi pretends to be just playing a game with his wife. Mr Forson is unimpressed by the couple’s efforts at pretending that all’s peachy with their marriage and insists that Kofi meet him with his parents at the house the following morning.

At the meeting the following morning, Kofi’s parents are appalled to find that their son’s been physically abusing his wife. Mr Forson asks Ama to go back home with him and tells Kofi to decide whether or not he wants to be with Ama and to come for her, accompanied by his parents, at his (Forson’s) home if he does. Ama refuses to leave her marital home with her dad, but goes to see her father off so as to give the elderly Oseis a chance to speak with their son.
Kofi then declares that he no longer loves Ama and wants to divorce her. He’s supported in his stance by his father, Mr. Osei, who affirms that only fools stay in unhappy marriages and that marriage is not a life imprisonment; that one can leave a marriage that’s not working out. This offends his wife, Auntie Comfort, who has put up with her unhappy marriage to Mr Osei for 35 years. She counsels Kofi to think carefully about his decision and reveals that she took Mr Osei back when he came back to her, after he’d left her for another woman because of Kofi and his siblings. She then declares that since Mr Osei feels that only fools stay in unhappy marriages, her sacrifice has been pointless and so she’s throwing him out of her life and out of her house.
In the next scene, Ama’s weeping in the living room when her co-worker, Joe, comes to see her. He encourages her to be strong and tries to cheer her up. He pampers her by making tea for her and then confesses his love for her. Ama is shocked and dismayed to hear this and sends him away. She is just about regaining her composure when the doorbell rings and a hawker who sells beads walks in. The woman is old and seems rather frail, yet carries a baby on her back. Apparently, Ama and the lady have met before in the opening scenes of the play. The lady weeps that her daughter, Mensima, had died from heartache resulting from an unhappy marriage, thus saddling her with the responsibility of caring for a baby in her old age. Ama feels sorry for the lady and serves her a hot meal. The old lady, after eating her fill blesses Ama for her generosity and suddenly, her drab old clothes fall to the ground, revealing a pristine, white gown and wings!

She’s an angel come to test Ama and having found her worthy, tells her God has heard her prayers and that help’s on the way! She then tells Ama that her husband’s going to be destroyed and that whenever a man’s going down the path of destruction, he’s first made to despise his wife, because his wife acts as a spiritual wall around him. With that wall broken, it’s then easy to attack him. The angel challenges Ama to stand up for herself and to know that she can live her life without Kofi in it, since Ama had been going around lamenting that she could not imagine her life without Kofi in it. The angel then vanishes suddenly, leaving Ama confused, shaken and searching everywhere for her “Auntie Angel.”

In the next scene Kofi comes home with his lover, Candy, presumably a Nigerian lady from her accent, to find, to his shock and annoyance, that Ama’s still in the house and worse still, she’s adamant that she’s staying put. Candy’s angry and demands that Kofi drive Ama out. Ama, now emboldened by the angel’s visit dares Kofi to throw her out. Kofi, in his anger, swings a blow at Ama, but is prevented midway and then struck by the angel, who suddenly appears out of nowhere. The angel swings her sword to finish off Kofi, but is stopped by Ama who pleads with the angel to strike her instead, as she’s willing to die in Kofi’s place. The angel spares Kofi and asks Ama to urinate on him, to bring him out of unconsciousness. All this while, Candy is bent over Kofi and is lamenting the incident, but she moves over quickly, holding up her nose while Ama urinates on Kofi and restores him back to life.

Kofi’s still determined to physically drive Ama out of the house when he finally gets back on his feet and tries to placate Candy, who says she’s leaving. Candy mocks Kofi’s manhood and fertility and removes the cushion she had been pretending to be the baby bump from under her dress. She, then throws it at Kofi who weeps bitterly at the insult and then collapses again. Candy then reveals herself as a spirit being, tasked with the mission of finishing off men who cheat on their wives and asks Ama to urinate on Kofi again to revive him. While Ama sets about trying to revive Kofi, the two supernatural beings, Candy spirit being and “Auntie Angel”, discuss their current assignment and their next mission and then exit the stage. When Kofi finally comes to, Ama does her best to make him comfortable and then goes to get her suitcase of clothes she’s packed for her stay at her father’s. Kofi, by then, has had a change of heart and tries to persuade her to stay, but she insists that he come for her, as her father has asked, if he really wants her back and then leaves.

Kofi is greatly upset by his wife’s departure and is about to go look for his parents when his father walks in with a gift bag in hand, containing all his belongings. Apparently, Auntie Comfort has driven him out of their marital home and it’s only then that he realises that he has only a few possessions to his name, because his caring and supportive wife had made sure he’d lacked for nothing, but now that she was throwing him out, had taken back all the things she’d bought for him. He’s feeling lost without her and wants Kofi to help him win her back. Father and son then agree to help each other win back their wives and they set off for Mr. Forson’s house.
In the next and final scene, Kofi and his parents meet with Mr Forson in Kofi’s living room. Kofi apologises to his father in-law for maltreating Ama and pleads with him to allow him to take his wife back. Mr Forson agrees to it and Kofi goes out to the car to fetch his wife. This is when Mr Osei gets Mr Forson to intervene on his behalf so Auntie Comfort will take him back. Auntie Comfort agrees to take him back on condition that Mr Osei take back his assertion that only fools stay in unhappy marriages. Mr Osei is more than happy to recant his earlier statement and then adds, as an aside to the audience, that women stay in unhappy marriages because they love their husbands more than themselves. Auntie Comfort then explains that people stay in unhappy marriages because they keep hoping that things will get better. Kofi then comes in carrying his wife in his arms and then renews his vows to her in the presence of everyone. The play ends with Ama’s sister bringing in drinks followed by Joe, Ama’s co-worker and the two angels, who have disguised themselves again. Only Ama discerns that these two women are the angels that came to her house. The party goes into full swing, drawing the curtain on the action.

EXECUTION
The tempo of the play is quite upbeat and consistent and I was glad that the scenes did not drag on for too long. I thought the acting was pretty good and the actors were able to aptly capture the humour contained in the dialogue. I also liked the use of the microphones because it helped the actors to speak without shouting and prevented instances where an actor’s movement would interfere with the audience’s ability to hear him clearly. There were only a few instances of awkward silence that seemed to suggest that someone had forgotten their lines, such as in the Candy-Ama dialogue, when Kofi had passed out.

I admired Ama’s portrayal of a battered woman who still loves her husband in spite of all the hurt and pain. I thought the actress did a good job of portraying her pain and her love for her man, demonstrated in her offer to die in his place, as well as the hesitance with which she left her apparently reformed husband for her father’s house.

I was impressed with the speed and smoothness with which the first angel was revealed on stage. Her clothes fell off her, revealing wings, so we get the impression of seeing a real-life angel revealing herself before our very eyes.

Although the live band was a nice addition, the biggest minus, with the execution of the play was the singing of the characters. I liked the lyrics of Mr Forson’s song, urging his daughter to come home to him, unfortunately, I could hardly hear the lyrics because the melody (instruments) over-shadowed the actor’s voice. This was not the only instance of Iaboured singing by the actors and equally laboured listening by the audience. Ama’s performances were the only ones that made any real impact. The audience was impressed with her voice and delivery, as evidenced by the applause she got each time she sang. Since I saw the Sunday afternoon show, I am sure the actors were hoarse from all the singing the previous day. I suggest that either professional singers or the actors themselves record the songs before they put up the show. The actors can then mime the song during the play, so that the audience gets a good rendition of the songs. It would greatly improve the delivery and impact of the songs.

THE MESSAGE OF THE PLAY
I agreed with the first angel’s advice to Ama to be strong, not to allow anyone to trample on her and on her sense of self-worth and to know that she can live without Kofi. I cannot emphasise enough my agreement with this message because too many women are too afraid of being alone to get out of an abusive relationship. Physical abuse should not be tolerated by anyone in any relationship and I was happy that Ama told Kofi that she drew the line at physical abuse and then followed her father’s advice to leave Kofi and return home. Indeed, abuse of any form should not be tolerated and so I was not too pleased with Ama’s assertion that she could tolerate any form of abuse, but not physical abuse because I feel that it diluted the message that abuse in a relationship is an absolute no-no. Emotional scarring from emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse; perhaps even more so.

Still on the issue of abuse, there were instances of verbal abuse in the exchanges between Kofi’s parents. I felt sorry for Mr. Osei because even though he is portrayed by his wife as ungrateful to her for her sacrifices, Auntie Comfort obviously felt nothing but disdain for her husband and so kept insulting him, even when they were in public. We are not told why he left her the first time, but if the present circumstances were anything to go by, I would most definitely leave too if my wife insulted me at will and especially in public. It must be a really difficult thing to submit to a man you despise and have no respect for. Likewise, it must be really difficult to love a woman who never hesitates to drag your face in the mud!

I was deeply touched by Mr Forson’s song that Ama return home. I was especially touched by his words that he loved her, but he could not love her when she was dead, (ostensibly from the abuse she was enduring). I felt that it was a very positive message from a parent to a battered daughter. This message is even more striking, especially as it’s from a father, since it seems fathers don’t usually get involved in the love-lives and emotional well-being of their adult children. Perhaps this is the playwright encouraging families, especially parents to show an interest (not meddle!) in their children’s well-being, especially where things are not going well in their marriages.

It seems to me that many women do not get support from their families and friends to leave emotionally and physically abusive relationships. Too often, these support networks, which have such immense influence on these battered women encourage them to stay on in the relationship by consoling them that things will get better, or that they are better off with “the devil you know” than with the “angel you don’t know,” or worse still, that their situation is better than that of some acquaintance or other and so they should stay put because “that’s how it is.”
None of these things is true because the abusive partner is unlikely to change their attitude, since their behaviour stems from a basic lack of respect for their spouse. Respect once lost is hardly ever regained, so how would staying on improve the situation? Things would more likely go from bad to worse, unless something really dramatic and I mean, really dramatic happens.

Moreover, while it’s possible that the battered woman would have to live the life of a single woman for the rest of her days if she left the relationship, it’s also equally likely that she would find and enjoy a happy marriage with another man. An unhappy marriage is most certainly not how a marriage should be; it’s dysfunctional, period. Besides, being single is not such a terrible thing. While you may have to struggle financially and learn to enjoy your own company, you also have lots of freedom and peace of mind that you can’t have in an abusive relationship. Believe me, peace of mind is priceless! Small wonder many divorced or widowed women never remarry; having tasted of the freedom that being on their own gives them, they are often reluctant to surrender it, especially if they do not have young children.

Now, let’s come to an exchange that I found pretty troubling: the part where Mr Osei says that only fools stay in unhappy marriages; that marriage is not a life imprisonment and that one can leave a marriage that’s not working out and Auntie Comfort responds that her sacrifice to keep the marriage going, especially as she took him back when he was poor and friendless and her becoming the bread-winner of the family ever since has been pointless and so she’s throwing him out. While I agree with the playwright’s point that staying in an unhappy marriage doesn’t mean that one’s a fool and so one should not be quick to ditch their marriage when things are not going well, I don’t think staying is the smartest thing to do either. For one thing, it doesn’t make one a martyr. A martyr’s sacrifice is recognised because it’s understood as the person’s faithfulness to his ideals or principles, even at the peril of his life. It is the recognition by the people the sacrifice was made for that makes the person a martyr.

In any case, martyrs don’t make the sacrifice in the hopes that they’ll be accorded recognition and respect for their decision. Since Auntie Comfort expects Mr. Osei to appreciate her sacrifices and he obviously doesn’t, it’s not at all surprising that she gets upset that he is dismissive of her sacrifice and so throws him out. Moreover, is it fair to expect your spouse to constantly and consistently express his eternal gratitude to you for staying on even though they don’t deserve that much kindness from you on account of their past sins? The human heart being what it is seldom remembers such sacrifices, especially over time. No one likes to be held hostage for his past indiscretions or sins and to expect anyone to be obliged to you in such manner is unrealistic, unfair and bound to cause disappointment.

Then again, is it really a good idea to remain in an abusive relationship “because of the children?” Many women use this excuse to explain their hanging on to an unhappy or even abusive marriage, but is it really out of the concern for the children or out of a fear of being alone, of the unknown? Is it really in the best interests of the children to grow up in an environment where violence is the main mode of communication or expression? Are we not creating little monsters who’ll grow up to abuse their spouses in turn because they know no better, or rather, because they know no other way to express themselves?

There is a whole body of literature that supports the claim that as people, especially children learn by observing others, these children will pick up these bad behaviours from their parents and exhibit them in their own adult family lives. Staying in an abusive relationship because of the children is more certain to create adults who’ll perpetuate violence and dysfunctional relationships, rather than responsible, loving and emotionally well-balanced adults. Kofi seems to have turned out just like his father, an indication that he likely learned his bad behaviour from his father. Since Auntie Comfort was obviously the bread-winner in her home, did she really need to take Mr Osei back when he was poor and was only going to be a financial burden on her? Doing it out of love for Mr Osei is one thing and doing it for her children another and so if she did it for the latter reason, then I can’t say she did her children any favours. Perhaps, it’s about time as women, we were a little more honest with ourselves about our real motives for hanging on when even the family dog is treated with more affection and dignity than we are as wives.

When Mr Osei is taken back by his wife after his recanting of his earlier assertion, he adds, as an aside to the audience, that women stay in unhappy marriages because they love their husbands more than themselves. This statement is quite true, though in a rather negative way. If you don’t love someone more than yourself, it’s really impossible to submit to and endure all the indignities that person puts you through. This sounds like playing the martyr here and I don’t think it’s a good idea for reasons cited above in the paragraph about martyrdom. I don’t think this should be celebrated or portrayed as a good thing to do because loving someone more than yourself also requires a certain devaluation of self and self-image which is definitely not submission. Besides, even the Bible (and this play draws heavily on biblical or Christian teachings) exhorts us to love our neighbour as ourselves and not to love them more than ourselves. Thus, I don’t think it’s right to love our neighbours more than ourselves and to proclaim it from the rooftops.

When Auntie Comfort agrees to take her husband back, she explains that people stay in unhappy marriages because they keep hoping that things will get better. This seems to be a more plausible explanation than Mr Osei’s. Our marriage vows, at least the Christian ones, require us to stick with our chosen life-partners “for better or for worse” and so as discussed in earlier paragraphs, our social support networks encourage us to stay on in our marriages, however miserable they may be. Many couples outline or discuss the big dreams of a happy life that they’ll share when they’re getting married, but I doubt that they think much about what it means to stay on “for worse” or actually envisage exactly how terrible this “for worse” could be. While I’m all for staying on and hoping that things’ll get better, at what point do we realise that the “for worse” is not a phase, but actually our entire lives, count our losses and leave our abusive relationships? I don’t think there’s a definitive answer, but in my candid opinion, the moment it becomes abusive, you need to serve notice and if things don't improve, get out.

Serving notice here means seeking help, outside help to sort out the issues. I was happy that Mr. Forson intervened to force Kofi to think evaluate his marriage with Ama and to treat her well so that they could have a chance at happiness. He also intervened in the deadlock between Auntie Comfort and Mr Osei, to restore their marriage. “Auntie Angel’s” intervention helped Ama evaluate her marriage to Kofi, cultivate some self-love and confidence to demand better treatment from Kofi. The Candy spirit being’s intervention succeeded in getting Kofi to realise the folly of his ways and to appreciate his wife as the gem she was. While the latter two interventions were rather unusual, I think they also indicate that in such serious situations, outside help is needed to counsel the couple to re-evalute their relationship and to teach them to take better care of themselves and of each other.

I was pleased with Uncle Ebo’s use of Joe, Ama’s co-worker. I hope the husbands who saw the play all took note that when you abuse or neglect your wife, you make her easy prey for unscrupulous men who would break down her defences by being nice to her. The men are quick to point out that when their wives starve them of sex, they are, in effect, pushing them into the arms other women, but they don’t realise that it’s just as easy to push their wives into the arms of other men. Every human being wants love; craves love and acceptance and a sense of belonging. When you neglect your wife, or abuse her physically or emotionally, she turns to others for comfort. This is as natural a phenomenon as breathing. She then becomes a sitting duck for predatory men (especially if she’s beautiful). She may be overtaken by events and not be able to resist the temptation to feel loved in the arms of another man. While Ama was strong enough to resist Joe, who was also sensitive enough to leave and come back no more, another woman might not be so strong or lucky. The message here is clear, Men: lead us not into temptation!

STYLE
On a purely entertainment level, I would say that the play was entertaining, as the actors used some current lingua that the audience can identify with and also finished off the play with a highly energetic display of azonto steps. The scenes with the angels, especially the Candy spirit were unexpected and dramatically changed the dynamics of the plot. However, my issues with the plot have a lot to do with the impact of the angels. At the end of the play, one is left with a lot of lingering issues.

The first thing I disliked about the first angel, “Auntie Angel’s” role was when she struck Kofi unconscious at the moment he tried to hit Ama. I say this, because in a situation where there is physical abuse in the home, how often do the victims get angels who will shield them from harm? While I agree that there are angels amongst us, how many times do we meet real angels with wings in our lifetime?

My second issue with the angels is the fact that the use of the second spirit being, the Candy Spirit made the play seem a little too contrived. I didn’t find her role, or rather, the revelation that she was also a spirit being pleasant. Perhaps I’m prejudiced against this because I see Uncle Ebo to be the go-to person for practical advice and insight into real-life relationship problems. The problem of a cheating and physically abusive husband is a real enough experience for many women. It’s all right and well to put in these spirits who, within the space of a few hours, cause such a dramatic turn-around of events in a play, but for the person who went to see the play in the hope of getting an answer to his or her own peculiar problem, there is no answer here.
My third objection to the use of the angels is summed up in this question: really, what’s with the angels? I am protesting because this same technique was used in the other play I watched, HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT. This technique, known as “Deus ex machina” is when an extraordinary or supernatural event resolves an otherwise difficult problem or plot. In HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT, an angel suddenly comes in and resolves a difficult problem for the protagonist. As much as possible, I would welcome a situation where no two plays are ever stylistically similar as this would have a direct impact on the patronage of plays in the future.

Another style I would like to see less of is the use of a woman who uses invectives freely on people in most or almost every scene in which she appears. In most instances, the insults are quite harmless and intended, I’m sure to draw laughter from the audience. In this play, it was Auntie Comfort who insulted Mr. Osei all the time. In HE LOVES ME, HE LOVES ME NOT, it was the mother of the bride-to-be, who rained insults freely on her daughter and on others. As in the use of the angels, consistent use of this technique will add up to creating a stereotype of the characters of Uncle Ebo’s plays and may do more damage, in the long run, than good, because it becomes a little stale after a while. The audience would want to be surprised and intrigued by each play, so they don’t get tired of them.

I found the couples sitting next to me looking a little sheepish both times Ama was forced to urinate on Kofi to restore him back to life. I must admit I felt rather uncomfortable too and probably had that same look on my face, which is why I turned round to look at their reactions, rather than concentrate on the scene onstage. I think that it would be fair for me to say that we’d rather we were not made to feel so uncomfortable when viewing the next play.

Finally, I feel that the plays draw too much on biblical text and so are too Christian-oriented. This narrows its scope in terms of appeal and alienates audiences who may not be Christian, or may be Christian, but would not want to be made to feel like they’re being given a sermon for entertainment. Even these Christians balk at any kind of entertainment that draws heavily on biblical text, or seems to be too “chrife” in approach, so imagine how unappealing it would be to a non-Christian. As I said earlier, Uncle Ebo has carved a niche for himself as the go-to person for practical advice on relationships through his interviews and presentations on radio, which have not been so heavy on biblical scripture. Thus, non-Christians or moderate Christians have also been attracted to his work. I feel that concentrating so much on scripture would be doing his brand a disservice because the Ghanaian market, really, is too small for niche marketing. If there are any plans for expansion, then the plays do need to take on a more centrist approach, so that people of other faiths might be interested in drawing lessons and inspiration from them, because there are many life lessons embedded in the plays. If this is not done, the deficiency will begin to show in the form of dips in popularity, which will, in turn negatively affect sales and sponsorship.

I would love to travel to Togo or predominantly-Muslim Senegal and find that Uncle Ebo’s plays are as popular there as they are in Ghana now, but they’ll only be able to attain such an international and multi-cultural status when they become as truly universal in tone as they are in content.

I have a few suggestions for packaging the plays. I know some suggestions may sound a little weird, but here they are:
· How about local language renditions of the plays?
· How about putting the plays on DVDs for sale?
· How about recording local language versions for sale?
· Mobile cinema for local language versions?
Uncle Ebo, my two cents on the matter...over to you...

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

WHEN THE OLDER WOMEN CONGREGATE AT THE CHURCH DOOR/GATE...

Friday, February 24, 2012

TO LEAVE OR NOT TO LEAVE, WHEN YOUR MARRIAGE BECOMES AN ALBATROSS? - AN ANALYSIS OF THE DAY DAD CAME, A PLAY BY UNCLE EBO WHYTE

Musings of a bemused observer

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